The Ugly

The Ugly, is the story of Muzhduk the Ugli the Fourth, a member of a lost tribe of boulder-throwing Slovaks living in the mountains of Siberia whose land is stolen by American lawyers. He is sent on a quest to Harvard Law School to learn how to defeat the lawyers. Represented by the
Carolyn Swayze Literary Agency.
Short Stories
The River Lena, first chapter of The Ugly, published in Transition Magazine, Breadloaf nominee to Best New American Voices anthology.
Metropolitan Avenue, in Chicago Quarterly Review.
Before the Law: a Rebuttal, in Chicago Quarterly Review.
Rain, in Phantasmagoria.
Michelle Swayne: Magnet Bali, in Harper's Bazaar.
Michelle Swayne: From Tennessee to Indonesia, in The Tennessee Tribune.
Sisi Puitik Pada Seni Rupa Michelle Swayne, in Suardi Magazine (pseudonymous).
Art Review: Filippo Sciascia, in Harper's Bazaar.
Dinosaurs on the Roof, in The Globe and Mail.
Nepal Porters, in The Globe and Mail.
The Development of Legal Culture in the Czech Republic, in The Golden Gate Law Review.
Selected Columns
- Zen and Potatoes, Harvard Law Record, February 16, 1996.
- Holmes' Cow, Harvard Law Record, March 1, 1996.
- Gropius' Flesh, Harvard Law Record, March 15, 1996.
- Law and Nudity, Harvard Law Record, April 19, 1996.
- Ying, Yang and Sex, Harvard Law Record, April 26, 1996.
- Survival Guide; But, Harvard Law Record, September 13, 1996.
- Nebuchadnezzar, Harvard Law Record, September 27, 1996.
- Invasion of the Body Snatchers, Harvard Law Record, October 4, 1996.
- Toothless Bytes, Harvard Law Record, October 11, 1996.
- Interviewing Chicken, Harvard Law Record, October 18, 1996.
- Hide Away, Cover Up, Harvard Law Record, October 25, 1996.
- Banana Leaves, Harvard Law Record, November 8, 1996.
- Growling Humpty, Harvard Law Record, November 15, 1996.
- Wooden Chairs, Harvard Law Record, November 22, 1996.
- Santa's Hat, Harvard Law Record, December 6, 1996.
- Listening to UFOs, Harvard Law Record, January 17, 1997.
- The Horribles, Harvard Law Record, February 14, 1997.
- A Pissoir of Androgynous Ghosts, Harvard Law Record, February 21, 1997.
- Obituary, Harvard Law Record, February 28, 1997.
- Cheez Whiz, Harvard Law Record, March 14, 1997.
- Apocalyptic Zippering, Harvard Law Record, April 4, 1997.
- Chronometric People, Harvard Law Record, April 11, 1997.
- ...And Then He Piled Them Up In Piles, Harvard Law Record, April 18, 1997.
- A Trip to the Land of the Law, Harvard Law Record, April 25, 1997.
- Anomic Lawyers and Nomological Dog Food, Harvard Law Record, May 2, 1997.
- Hung by Law (of Gravity), Harvard Law Record, January 15, 1999.
- Elephants and Threes, Harvard Law Record, February 7, 1999.
- Gotter(ver)dammerung, Harvard Law Record, February 2, 1999.
- From Vibrators to Professors, Harvard Law Record, March 5, 1999.
- A Real Story, Harvard Law Record, March 19, 1999.
- Lex Est Summa Ratio In Exerptium Poohbium, Harvard Law Record, April 16, 1999
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- I'll Miss You Most of All, Scarecrow, Harvard Law Record, April 30, 1999.
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Bucket o’ Quotes
These are in no particular order. A sort of ever-expanding personal library of favourite quotations.
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Time flies like an arrow but fruit flies like a banana.
–Groucho Marx
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Credo quia absurdum est.
–Tertullian
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The desire for security stands against every great and noble enterprise.
–Tacitus
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Man’s deepest social instinct is his antisocial instinct.
–Robert Musil
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The meaning of life is that it ends.
–Kafka
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Don’t bunch up.
–US Marine Corps Manual
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Society, like any collective, is a soulless entity. It is humanity that has been mechanised, almost mineralised.
–Ortega y Gasset
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When a lot of people agree about something, it’s either a stupid idea or a beautiful woman.
–Ortega y Gassett
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The secret of reaping the greatest fruitfulness and the greatest enjoyment from life is to live dangerously!
–Friedrich Nietzsche
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The strongest man is he who stands alone in the world.
–Henrik Ibsen
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Whoso would be a man, must be a nonconformist.
–Emerson
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Gentlemen, I take it we are all in complete agreement on the decision here…Then I propose we postpone further discussion of this matter until our next meeting to give ourselves time to develop disagreement, and perhaps gain some understanding of what the decision is all about.
–Alfred Sloan Jr.
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It’s good to keep an open mind, but not so open that your brains fall out.
– Jacob Needleman
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