Why I hate meetings — half the time

Why I hate meetings -- half the time

As a writer who needs to freelance in order to pay the bills, I’ve developed two distinct (opposite, in fact) modes of working.

One is the “manager” mode that recently got an “out of memory” error on my 4gig laptop–I was running with 50 Adobe documents open, 50 Excel documents, most with multiple sheets, 140 tabs on Firefox, 19 Word documents, one very long Power Point slide show, and a bunch of other stuff open, all with my son running in and out showing me the good guy beating the bad guy, informing me that “Dad, these superheroes saved the day!” and asking the names of odd colours, like fuchsia. I told him to ask his mother, she’s a painter, she paints with colours. He said, “And you’re a writer? So you know what’s right?”

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Among the things the 3rd world does far better than the West…

Among the things the 3rd world does far better than the West...

Reuters is reporting that “Farmers in an eastern Indian state have asked their unmarried daughters to plow parched fields naked in a bid to embarrass the weather gods to bring some badly needed monsoon rain, officials said on Thursday.”

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Happiness

nigel-cooke-stumpys-diner

Reprinted from C-Arts Magazine, June 2009.

If you want happiness for an hour—take a nap.
If you want happiness for a day—go fishing.
If you want happiness for a month—get married.
If you want happiness for a year—inherit a fortune.
If you want happiness for a lifetime—help someone else.

—Chinese proverb

First, lift your cheeks, as though you were winking with them. Then raise the ends of your lips obliquely while at the same time pulling the corners down. This may stretch your lips to the point where your teeth are visible. Deepen your nasolabial furrow by lifting your upper lip laterally, slightly raising and widening your nostrils while flattening the skin on your chin boss and lower lip, and producing crows feet at your eye corners and slight bags below your lower eyelid. Finally, pull your scalp back, as though you were wiggling your ears. Now you’re happy.

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The World Wide Web of Word of Mouth

Reprinted from C-Arts Magazine, March 2009.

“Today I met with a sjoshua-allen-harris-centaur-trash-bags-47m-x-25m-2008-photo-courtesy-of-the-artist-smallubliminal advertising executive for just a second.”

– Steven Wright

Heroin needle vans are hard to find. I tried once in Cambridge, Massachusetts. It was illegal for University Health Services to sell me needles directly, so they suggested the van and made several phone calls on my behalf trying, and failing, to find out on what corner it stopped, when, and for how long. Eventually, I got my free needles–after a week of research–but remember thinking that the HIV-prevention program must be a complete failure. If it was that difficult for a Harvard Law student planning a trip to Africa to find the van, what chance did a junked-up heroin addict who injected six times a day have?

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